


the blood on my hands scares me to death

by clouds_and_skyships (RebecaHerondale)



Category: Fallen Hero Series - Malin Rydén
Genre: Angst, Dog as coping mechanism?, I Tried, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Ortega and Herald are only mentioned, Retribution Spoilers!!, i guess, one or two sentences about harming other people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:14:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21699055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebecaHerondale/pseuds/clouds_and_skyships
Summary: He sees them. It would be impossible for him not to.(Fallen Hero: Retribution spoilers!)
Relationships: Steel/Sidestep (Fallen Hero)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	the blood on my hands scares me to death

**Author's Note:**

> So, as mentioned in the tags, this contains Fallen Hero: Retribution spoilers! Stop reading if you haven't played the demo. Or don't, I guess. Your call.
> 
> This was just born out of wanting more Steelstep fanfiction and deciding I would write it myself if I couldn't find more. So, kinda self-indulgent. Sidestep isn't referenced as any specific gender, but I wrote it with a male OC in mind and used his villain name in there somewhere. 
> 
> And please tell me if I made a mistake while writing? English isn't my first language and is just all-around weird. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Title from I'll Be Good by Jaymes Young.

Time seems to slow down.

You are both staring, you at his face, at his expression 

_ (it’s over now he’ll hate you why wouldn’t he why shouldn’t he)  _

are his eyes narrowing, is he frowning, are his lips tilting downward? 

He stares at your marks. 

It would be impossible not to, for him. You know by now the way the bright orange contrasts against your pale skin, the way the scars where you tried to get rid of them stand out. This is the first time he’s seeing them and you realize you never wanted him to, that you would’ve taken this one secret to the grave with you when it all was said and done.

Your first instinct is to run _ hide  _ but isn’t this what you wanted? To be stopped? There’s nowhere to go anyway, even if you wanted to, you’re trapped with Chen and he stands between you and the only exit. Still, you had hoped when he found out it would be over quickly and this moment is already stretching too long. You close your eyes, the _revulsionhaterejection_ would break you, especially from him and isn’t that hilarious? 

Kairos, newest villain in Los Diablos, in love with the Marshal. Not that he knows  _ that _ particular secret yet, even if he’ll find out sooner rather than later, the way things are going.

You purposefully ignore his thoughts, even as loud as they are, and focus instead on the familiar feeling of Spoon’s mind. He’s resting after a long walk, lying down in the living room, and you let his calmness wash over you. He feels like lying on Chen's bed under the afternoon sunlight does, warm and easy and _happy_.

Chen might be talking, might even be reaching for you, but you can’t hear him, you don’t want to know what he’s saying, what he’s  _ thinking _ . 

( _a re-gene a thing_ _how had he not seen it before)_

_ i love you chen i love you so much i’m sorry _

You sigh and steel yourself for what is coming, shut your eyes tight and maybe the inevitable won’t hurt as much. He won’t ever want to see you again 

_ (he was right wasn’t he you were a danger to the team who knows what you’ve told the special directive about them about  _ him _ ) _

and you don’t blame him, you can’t. Even if he’s wrong about this he’s right about the danger you present to the Rangers. You barely stopped before breaking Herald’s- Danny’s leg, you didn’t stop until Ricardo was laying beaten and bloody on the ground.

What kind of person-

But you’re not really a person, are you? And the proof is glaringly bright under the artificial light, the orange lines covering most of your body, even if he can only see your arms. 

You’re not ready for the pain this will cause you, but you know you never will be. Best to get it over with.

You open your eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Just in case I didn't make it clear (I probably didn't, it's okay), italics in parentheses aren't Chen's thoughts, they're what Sidestep believes Chen could or should be thinking. 
> 
> I hope it wasn't too bad, I think this is the first thing I wrote for this fandom and, of course, I couldn't just go for the popular pairings. It's just... I love Wei Chen and so does every Fallen Hero OC I have, to be perfectly honest.


End file.
